where to go from here

I don't think that anyone can really describe what it is like to be a parent. I always have wanted to be a mom since I can remember. Now that I am it's nothing short of amazing. Wyatt is now 3 weeks old and I seem to be more emotional now that when I came home with him. Probably because some of the shock factor has worn off and I'm adjusting to my new life. I never thought that I would have to experience what it's like to do this alone. As much as I would like "Frank"* a part of our life, I know that right now I'm not supposed to. I thought that I was a pretty strong person and that dealing with Frank would be a piece of cake. And that's probably been the most emotional part of it all. I do love him but everything is different now. He finally came to see us the other day and hung out for awhile. I held it together for the most part, but the whole time I just wanted to cry. I'm not trying to dig for sympathy, I made a choice and I now have the most beautiful baby boy and quite frankly I wouldn't trade it for the world. But I guess I just need to get it out.

I have the most supportive family and friends. I know most people don't believe anything about my story, and that's okay. I can see if I was 16, but I'm almost 24. I have nothing to hide and would have loved to let everyone know I was pregnant, especially since me and my best friend were both pregnant at the same time. And trust me, just thinking I was a fat whale and having other medical problems wasn't easy.

Anyway... I think that this weekend I am going to start getting my home ready for me and Wyatt to go home. I know that's going to make my family sad to not be here with them. But I think it needs to happen. And I think Peter misses me at home!