Happiness Challenge

So, I guess lately I've been really trying to figure out what my true happiness is. Trying to find my joy in life so to speak. And of course there is your family! Unless they are totally heinous, and sorry if they are! I know I can always depend on them no matter what, and most nights I'd rather be hanging out with them than with my friends. But besides my family and the few friends that I've managed to keep around, I'm having a hard time finding my joy. I played soccer for years, and I enjoyed that...I think!? K well I did for the most part, but I think having a parent as a coach is bound to ruin any joy you have in any sport. period. end of story. I always wished that I could dance, but I think it's a little too late to pick that up. I don't know how many professional dancers start out when they were 23. Maybe I could go far on So You Think You Can Dance... but my chances aren't looking too promising at this point. So, I'm going to continue my search and challenge everyone else to find your joy in life. You can report on it if you want, but you most definately can keep it to yourself. On your mark, get set...find joy!

I know the suspense is killing you

I haven't posted anything about the date, because well...the date didn't happen. Which is okay, and it might be a good thing. Who knows. But there is always next time. And when there is a next time, I will for sure let you all know!

everyone stay calm!

Apparently I kinda freaked everyone out...or something like that! I just like the song :) *hands Andee a wash cloth* Today is day 3 of the Raw Food Challenge! Yesterday was rough, especially when Kate busted out the Mac and Cheese for Lottie! But, she had to make a hot dog earlier in the day, so she wins on temptation level. Pehrson keeps asking me when the diet is over so that we can go to lunch again, but then he eats all my yummy raw food that I bring in. He's a dork. It's usually just us in the office lately. Jenn and Kirk stay home and work thanks to my magnificent manifesting skills! This agent in my office is going to talk to his partner about giving me a file to look over, which is exciting for me! Although when he told me how big the deal was I did get a tad bit nervous! But I will be excited to get it if I do! I'm sort of just rambling on right now. I hope you all are having a fabulous day.

ps where is camille?

precious illusions

you'll rescue me right? in the exact same way they never did..
I'll be happy right? when your healing powers kick in
you'll complete me right? then my life can finally begin
I'll be worthy right? only when you realize the gem I am?
but this won't work now the way it once did
and I won't keep it up even though I would love to
once I know who I'm not then I'll know who I am
but I know I won't keep on playing the victim
these precious illusions in my head did not let me down when I was defenseless
and parting with them is like parting with invisible best friends
this ring will me yet as will you knight in shining armor
this pill will help me yet as will these boys gone through like water
but this won't work as well as the way it once did
cuz I want to decide between survival and bliss
and though I know who I'm not I still don't know who I am
but I know I won't keep on playing the victim
these precious illusions in my head did not let me down when I was a kid
and parting with them is like parting with a childhood best friend
I've spent so long firmly looking outside me
I've spent so much time living in survival mode

"really makes me wonder if i ever gave a **** about you"

this is a music game! i am going to give you lines from songs and you will have to guess what song it is! sound fun? well it will be. extra love points if you know what song my blog is titled after...one hint, the cd isn't out yet.

1. Blog Title

2. "love of mine, someday you will die, but i'll be close behind. i'll follow you into the dark"

3. "three little birds sat on the window, and they told me i don't need to worry"

4. "people cleared their throats, and stared right back at him"

5. "you say love is a hell and you can not bear, and i say give me mine back and go there for all i care"

6. "lightness has a call that's hard to hear. i wrap my fear around me like a blanket"

7. "love is a burning flame, and it makes a firey ring"

8. "as he came into the window it was the sound of a crescendo"

Alright smarties! Have fun with that.... I would do more, but I have to work :)

a great blogger once wrote

Of 56 things she wants to do before she dies. So here is my stab at it!

1. Become the funniest Gibbs sister.
2. Own a BMW 3 Series by the time I'm 30.
3. Go to Hawaii and check out all the brown boys! And I wouldn't mind if I had to bring one home with me.
4. Discover my own worth.
5. Go on a Jeep safari in Africa.
6. Fall in love.
7. Have a family of my own. I can't wait to be a mom!
8. Own a BMW 7 Series when my kids are grown up and out of the house!
9. Meet U2 (especially the edge), 50 Cent, Christian Bale, Johnny Depp and... ya
10. Create my own affirmation mirror stickers and market them.
11. Buy my mom a house and dream car.
12. Watch my kids grow and have families of their own.
13. Run a half marathon (I'm not crazy enough to actually do a full one...the thought of taking a crap at the end of a race and not being able to control it in scares me)
14. Travel the world, I don't really care exactly where...I just want to see it all!
15. Go on a cruise.
16. Tollerate my bosses husband.
17. Kick bad habits
18. Be more sensitive and understanding to others feelings.
19. Speak in public without tremendous fear.
20. Release weight and stay at 130 lbs.
21. Visit Nick and Sarah
22. Be financially stable and learn how to balance my checkbook, i'm horrible at it!
23. Be a better sister and friend.
24. Get rid of chad and forgive him.
25. Surround myself with good and uplifting people who support me.
26. Own my dream home.
27. Ride a horse.
28. Learn to play the guitar.
29. Pick up piano again.
30. Create a business and work from home.
31. Forgive and forget.
32. See U2 in concert again.
33. Shake a presidents hand and a prophets hand.
34. Play soccer again.
35. Get over my fears.
36. To think of 20 more things I want to do.

37. Realize that everyone is here to work out their own salvation and that I am only in control of myself.
38. Own a beach side property and mingle with the stars.
39. Own a cute Mazda 3 by the time 2007 is over.
40. Help with humanitarian efforts all over the world.
41. Smile at more people when we cross paths.
42. Laugh more, worry less.
43. Give my children all the support and love they need to be successful in this world.
44. Turn my condo into a investment property.
45. Take singing lessons and hopefully find a mentor as great as miss taggart.
46. Ten more to go!
47. Stop biting my nails!
48. Listen.
49. Own a yacht.
50. Forgive myself.
51. Visit historical church sites.
52. Go see the Oprah show and hopefully her favorite things episode.
53. Be a hot soccer mom.
54. Get a boob job after I have kids.
55. Have a yearly family tradition and go on a cruise
56. Die knowing that I lived the life that I wanted to.

a date? what's a date?

So I have a date this weekend... I haven't been on a date well in quite awhile. I hated the singles ward for that fact. Guys never ask you out on dates. And you know it's not because you aren't cute...because even the super gorgeous fake girls don't even get asked out. It's all about "hanging out". I'm sorry, but I already have friends that I "hang out" with, if I just wanted to "hang out" I would have invited you to do so with my friends. *sighs*

Anyway, Tim is his name. You might remember him from such boyfriends as... yes that boyfriend. I'm excited to see him and it will be good to have some male contact other than my brother and my guy friends (ps...the guy friends are responsible for the movie selection andee). It's been awhile since I've seen him and I've packed on a few pounds since, but he still loves me so it's okay!

I thought I would just tell you all, cuz i'm pretty excited!